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A World Without Color

Look for Me Under the Rainbow

January River

Cruel Summer

Postcards From Beyond Reality: The Selected Poems of Michael Daniels

  • Writer's pictureBernard Jan

Marcel: Another Year Without You

Another challenging year, another months, days, hours, and minutes and you were not here with me, and you never will be. And I needed you. Because these past twelve months were hard. Sometimes very hard. And I couldn’t hold you in my arms to find comfort in you.


It is selfish thinking, but everything about you is painted selfish. You were my world, nothing less than that.




Yesterday we had a serious talk with Saša about the possibility of putting you down. We have not talked to you about that, but somehow I feel you foresee it, that you have exposed us and that nothing remains hidden from you. You read all around you like X-rays, and stoically, calmly, and gracefully handle what is coming. I wish I could be brave like you and look death in the face with equal force and dignity. The hopelessness of your nonexistence, which covers me like a magician’s cloak, prevents me from that. Stealing me, stealing you. I do not agree to such a deal! As long as there is a fire in you for one more battle, as long as you do not say it’s over.




In Memoriam


April 19, 2006–April 19, 2024



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A World Without Color by Bernard Jan & Marcel
A World Without Color by Bernard Jan & Marcel

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